All that we go through makes us who we are
By Gail Ann, 25th Jan 2012 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutHealthMind & SpiritMental Health
Just some thoughts I shared, stirred by a comment I heard on a TV show. Funny how little things can make the mind ramble on. If you enjoy my writings, I imagine you'll find something useful in this. God Bless.
Little things can sometimes make us think
Funny thing, I was watching an episode of “Once Upon a Time” - and Snow White was about to take the formula to forget her heartbreak.... but Grumpy wouldn’t let her. He had a broken heart also. He told her “I don’t want my pain erased! As wretched as it is, I need my pain. It makes me who I am.”
I had to pause the episode then, because it suddenly made me think - and I remembered saying something very similar to one of my sons not too long ago. You see, we’ve been through more ‘pain’ than the average family - abuse, neglect, murder, assault, death, stalking, 19 moves in 10 years (running) - and that doesn’t even begin to mention the ‘weird’ stuff! (Paranormal). As a matter of fact, the councilor that helped me find a path to healing once told me that I should be careful not to share too much of my life with anyone, because either they’d think I was the biggest liar on earth, or they’d back away from me slowly, afraid that whatever was happening to me, might catch to their life. Really sad thing - LOTS more has happened to us since then! I’m sure even she would shake her head in disbelief is she could watch a movie of my life.
Thing is though, if you can make it through, and take each ‘hard knock’ and move forward, always trying to learn something, and always trying to better yourself. You might be amazed at what you find yourself capable of. I used to joke with my kids, that if the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” were accurate, it was only a matter of time before I would become invincible! A new Superwoman! (Or SuperMom in my case). Shame it doesn’t quite work that way. It is important though, to always remember there is a tomorrow, and we are not alone.
We really are a sum of all that happens to us, and of how we respond and deal with it - the good and the bad. The things in our lives shape and create us, but not just the things that happen - how we perceive them, how we remember them, what we learn from them, and the direction we choose because of each instant in our lives - it all makes us grow and develop. It’s all part of who we are at the present moment in time.
I could have chosen long ago to stop helping people after having so many times that they turned on me, but I never did, and never will. I could have chosen to stay in an abusive relationship - might have been easier than the escape - but you know what? Hard as it was, it made me who I am, and wouldn’t change a single moment. Heck, even the years of abuse shaped who I am. Looking back, I don’t wish to take back a single moment in my life, because each and every moment, each and every mistake, made me who I am. And you know what? I like who I am today.
My first husband used to tell me I was cursed. You see, I have what I now realize to be a gift, and it interfered with our lives quite often. I could be out in public, driving, or just sitting still on my porch - and I’d be struck by the most intense internal soul pain. I could barely breath sometimes, and I always knew it wasn’t my pain. I could be still (or scream to stop the car as I did once - then jumped out before he could continue) - but whatever the circumstance, I knew somewhere near me, someone was in such pain - and I couldn’t move forward in my life until I knew. Always I found them - different problems each time. It was like a beacon that would grab me - and as I focused on the beacon, they’d come to me - always, they’d come. That’s not a curse. Yes, it interfered with our life from time to time, but it is a gift. God lets me feel the pain of the innocent because he means for me to help them. Funny thing though - you know I’ve actually been slapped a number of times as a frantic mom grabbed her child from my arms - not realizing I was trying to help them find each other. Just goes with their perception at the moment - their child lost, but calm in the arms of a stranger -always calm because once in my arms, their pain stops, and we focus on the love for the family and that brings the family - same beacon thing you know - only adults aren’t so accepting of odd things happening. Lots more ‘unusual’ things in my life, but they’re really not important for this article.
Perhaps in my life I had to experience many types of pain, to fully understand all the aspects of pain, and to be better able to help and guide others. Who knows? Definitely someone smarter than me running this thing we call life. I’m just trying to get through it one day at a time, and be all that I can be - live every moment fully in that moment - and always try to learn how to interpret all that happens in this life. Always try to remember the importance of perspective.
Thing is, somehow, perhaps with a bit of heavenly guidance and watching, I choose different than many other people might have if walking in my shoes. I’ve come to accept my life, and in doing so, have found inner peace - even though all around me there is chaos and catastrophe - in my soul, there is peace.
I have a saying I started when working at the nursing home. Used to tell it to each of my patients when they needed cheering - “No matter whether it’s a good day, or a bad day, if you can smile your way through it, it’ll be a better day”. Combine that saying with a big hug, and you can lighten the heart of many people. Most of them discovered I was right.
Choose to make a better day, each and every day of your life, no matter what comes your way - accept your life, and who you are - and if you aren’t happy with who you are - CHANGE! You really can get control of your life if you just determine to do so. As time comes, you too can find an inner peace regardless of what’s all around you.
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One last thing - if you’d like to view a complete and categorized listing of my articles (as well as a ‘who am I?’ page) - you can go here:
Dizzy’s Home – http://www.michaelmodzelewski.com/gail/
I update this list each time I publish a new article, so check it often!
Comments
25th Jan 2012 (#)
Very insightful article!, I like the 'choose to make a better day' line. We can all do that; sometimes we just have to remember that we have some control over our lives.
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
Of course I hope you have no more pain, no more suffering, but you know Snow White made a bad decision when she did take the magic potion at the end of the show, we do not have such magic, only memories which we can decide to dwell on or not.
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
yes - and realistically, I know there will be more pain in my life, but I know I will never be alone, and it will never be more than I can bear - and I will always become better no matter what comes my way.
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
Gail Ann truly inspiring, you are as I said before simply amazing...
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
Thank you Delicia - your comment makes me smile.
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
I agree with all you have written and I also am intrigued by some parts. I would like to respond to a message you left to Mark...
I have a massage therapist/friend that has been massaging me for about 8 years now, she comes twice a week. I noticed last Tuesday, I was in so much pain, I was tightening up every time she would go to rub my very sore spots. Then all of a sudden I just relaxed, as I thought to myself: She has done this for years, you have never died from it, it is only pain, so stop and relax dammit!. I did and no it didn't hurt less, it was just that I knew, it was not going to kill me. I find that this is the best way to go through life and yes, at times we must remind ourselves. Love your gift and I am glad you have been there to be able to make a difference. Thank you for sharing.:)
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27th Jan 2012 (#)
Denise - if you didn't see the comment on the dog page you wrote - I'd like to offer you some distant healing. Just let me know your general location (city/state/country) - and when you sleep (including time zone)
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26th Jan 2012 (#)
Thank you Denise. And if I might share with you something I learned. I'd had a car accident, and it was a massage therapist that helped me heal most from it. He told me that visualization was a very important key in healing. He told me to close my eyes, relax, and imagine lots of tiny men in hard hats working hard in my body, climbing muscles, cleaning out valves, and rebuilding tissue where it'd been damaged. He said if I could put myself in the vision fully enough, that my subconscious would take over and use the visualization to help me heal. yet another visualization is to imagine yourself floating on a soft raft, gently flowing down a stream, birds sounding pleasantly all around you - sweet smell of flowers in the air - as you travel down the river, imagine that your pain, or worries, slowly fall away into the water, and the water carries them further downstream, away from you.... . visualization can be a wonderful tool to healing if you can put yourself into it - think, believe, and eventually you'll see the images in your mind, you'll smell the flowers, and you'll hear the birds.
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