Can Self Confidence be Taught?
By MidgetGem, 14th Aug 2011 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutHealthMind & SpiritPositive Thinking
Can self confidence be taught as a subject in its own right? I will give the reasons why I think the answer is no. Feel free to comment or disagree with me as you wish, it is always interesting to learn other points of view.
- What is Self Confidence?
- Why do we Lose Confidence?
- Learning or Regaining Confidence
- Achievements bring Confidence
What is Self Confidence?
Self confidence is like the wind; you know it is there, you can't see it or touch it or smell it but you can feel its affects. When you have self confidence you wake up without worrying about whether are you able to face the day's challenges. You just know or take for granted that whatever comes along, you will be able to deal with it. Confidence is something intangible but nevertheless it is as essential as the air we breathe. Without confidence we are unable to function as whole beings.
Why do we Lose Confidence?
A traumatic event can change a person's self confidence overnight. Losing a loved one can rock the very foundations of life and make it seem that from now on every day is going to be a struggle.
We can also lose confidence because another person is systematically trying to take it away. In an unbalanced relationship one person may be trying to control another to the extent that the victim no longer feels able to do anything on their own. The perpetrator makes them feel worthless. The victim starts to struggle with things they used to do automatically. Too much introspection is not always a good thing, especially when it causes the victim to doubt their own abilities.
Learning or Regaining Confidence
There are many courses available for people who wish to develop their self confidence. I have tried a few of them myself, and found them quite interesting as experiences go. However, I now believe that if anyone does gain self confidence from one of these courses the affects may be short lived if the underlying problems are still there. If you are in an abusive relationship no amount of confidence building will take away the fact that someone in your life is undermining you.
I also believe that teaching confidence in itself is not as easy as the tutors would have us believe. We are encouraged to do role play and imagine a better future for ourselves and our families. We picture ourselves living in nicer homes with better jobs and many other things to look forward to. Although these ideas give us a boost I do not believe they last very long in the real world.
What I am trying to say is I do not believe self confidence is a subject that can be taught like maths or English. You cannot do a GCSE in self confidence, gain a certificate, and that's it, you're now a self confident person. I believe learning or regaining lost confidence is achieved through less direct means.
Achievements bring Confidence
When you do something well it makes you feel good. You feel proud of yourself and you gain self esteem when other people praise you. But achievements don't have to be big things. You can teach yourself to draw or write stories by looking for free tutorials on the internet. You can learn to sew or bake by reading library books. You can learn to ride a bike or swim at any age, it is never too late.
Of course being in a controlling relationship makes it very hard to even think about learning or doing something new. Friends and family are essential in encouraging you to go out and try new ideas. Even if you are alone you can gain encouragement from online forums and discussion groups. Take things slowly, one step at a time, and you will soon be looking back and feeling proud of what you have achieved.
Comments
15th Aug 2011 (#)
I'm not sure whether or not it can be learned/taught but the people who sell the workshops promoting the idea certainly want everyone to believe that it can!
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
That's true. Workshops are big business these days.
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
The most important is that people want to be confident first before they can be taught.
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
Yes. Some people may not even realise they need confidence yet. When they are so low they can't think logically. I've been there but thankfully came out the other side unscathed.
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
An excellent article, MidgetGem...You have a very good writing style that makes it a pleasure to read.. I agree with you on this, self confidence has to be built up from within...A really insightful article..
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
Thank you for those kind words Songbird.
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15th Aug 2011 (#)
Great article. I believe confidence is in your genes, but encourage ment can help it.
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30th Aug 2011 (#)
No self confidence cannot be taught per se.No class or tutor or pedagogy can ever claim that a student through them was taught self confidence.Self confidence is an innate and inborn stock of poise that you possess out of chemical composition of your body which includes the way your neural network works;however training and education can nudge or awaken sleeping portions of it or stunted and attacked portions of it.
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