Trade Secrets of a Psychotherapist Revealed
By David Reinstein,LCSW, 19th Aug 2011 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutHealthMind & SpiritMental Health
Every profession has its own special body of knowledge, some of which is held secret from others. Psychotherapy may be one of the strongest examples because patients expect therapists to have secrets!
- Psychotherapy and Psychotherapists Revealed
- Once secrets are told, they are no longer secrets.
- Every trade has its secrets
Psychotherapy and Psychotherapists Revealed
Having practiced psychotherapy for almost 40 years now, I have learned to appreciate many things we were never taught to me in school. An accomplished psychotherapist has probably also come to realize that some of the things that were taught and rejected as ideas due to our insufferable arrogance as young adults and graduate students proved to be correct after all.
This list includes things I did not come to realize (and admit to) until my training was far in the past but are in my awareness every day with each person who walks into my office hoping to get some help. Most anyone who has ever visited a psychotherapist has either come to suspect or actually know about each of these ... but not because they were told.
Once secrets are told, they are no longer secrets.
1. Psychotherapists have flaws and faults just like everybody else. The difference is that a good psychotherapist has learned to recognize and manage their own impulses and rough edges in their work with a client.
2. Psychotherapists, as a group, DO tend to diagnose everybody, whether the person is a client in their office or someone they observe at a local lunch place. They think this way, partly as a function of their training and partly due to their own dispositions and proclivities, and that type of intellectually judgmental thinking is not necessarily limited to their professional practice.
3. Psychotherapists do not necessarily make 'better' or 'good' partners or mates. Some are terribly narcissistic and only pretend to be interested in their clients and other people because that is what they feel is expected of them. This is a rather important factor to consider when shopping for a psychotherapist for yourself because, unlike #s 1 and 2, this one is not ubiquitous and such a person is best avoided if this negative quality is either felt or suspected.
4. Psychotherapists are likely to have friends who are other psychotherapists. This is really not a secret as being most comfortable with people of like mind is a generally human attribute. Many psychotherapists like to perceive themselves and be perceived as being 'just regular' people. Most don't really feel that people not trained in this work would understand the essence of what it is they do. This is possibly less arrogance than it is a reflection of the fact that not everyone is 'psychologically minded.' Sometimes, it IS arrogance!
5. Psychotherapists definitely DO have fantasies about their clients from time to time - including sexual ones, though they are accustomed to denying it if asked - especially by a forthright client! They are, though, as was mentioned in #1, expected, both professionally and ethically, to not manifest those fantasies in the treatment they offer.
6. Psychotherapists, as a rule, 'know' a lot less than they have come to 'believe.' Although the practice of psychotherapy has changed quite a bit and often since the Victorian times of Sigmund Freud and his contemporaries, it remains a rather unique blend of evidence-based techniques, art, finesse, belief and luck. People who argue otherwise only sound right to people who are their 'followers' or devotees, and finally;
7. Even the best trained, most richly experienced and talented psychotherapist cannot help everyone who comes to them for help. This assessment is best made by the client and psychotherapist together - but always requires the ability of the professional to acknowledge that this activity requires a good 'fit' and for lack of either party feeling that there is one, one person's money and two people's time is in jeopardy of being wasted.
Every trade has its secrets
There you have some secrets of the trade. There are, most certainly, others. A reasonable question to ask about when shopping for a therapist with whom you might sense a good 'fit' might be to ask them about some of these things. Both the quality and content of their response will help you make an informed decision for yourself.
Comments
20th Aug 2011 (#)
Excellent 'expose' ;-) of secrets. An interesting article, David. Thanks for sharing.
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20th Aug 2011 (#)
Nice and well-thought article with a wealth of information which I aspire to learn. Good Luck,Dear for sharing your inspiring thought
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20th Aug 2011 (#)
Lovely article. I enjoyed reading about the life of a psychotherapist. My husband's a therapist too. He should write about his work too - but, you know, he never will! Shame.
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20th Aug 2011 (#)
I'm taking a bow before you. If my hat falls, its not by mistake. I'm taking it off to you!
Nice article and thanks for sharing.
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20th Aug 2011 (#)
Very honest, with us and yourself, thanks David:0)
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21st Aug 2011 (#)
Fascinating insight David... Great share..
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22nd Aug 2011 (#)
Really good share David. I think really good therapists are not that common, but I am certain that you are an uncommonly good one.
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22nd Aug 2011 (#)
From Steve's mouth to God's ear :-}
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21st Sep 2011 (#)
Nice article. I'm working on my MFT and reading "The Gift of Therapy." Every pont you bring up in here is valid and I've experienced some of those trials while going through supervised counseling. I'll be following you now!
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