Women in polygamous relationships
advantages and disadvantages of women living in polygamous relationships
- First wives, second wives
- Benefits for women in polygamous relationships
- Disadvantages of being in a religious relationship
First wives, second wives
In Cape Town, South Africa, polygamy is alive and well and there is no stigma attached to it – not anymore. With younger women wanting to educate themselves at university and who also wants to have a husband, love, and all the things we need to be nurtured, polygamy is answering the needs of many women who want to be mothers, have careers, have family, and have a balanced and well-rounded life. To be sure, it cannot be easy when the relationship and marriage came about because of cheating, but once you understand and accept how it works, you might find yourself surprised that it can actually suit your lifestyle.
Benefits for women in polygamous relationships
• The husband takes turns spending time at the different homes and they do not have to have sex every night. Yes, not all women want it. Some women do not want to share a bed, and being in a polygamous relationship gives you off days from a husband. This is particularly appreciated by women who do not want a man around all the time. There are lots of us.
• They do not have to cook every day. They would be able to eat what they want or go out with friends for a meal.
• They have less washing and other chores to do.
• They have peace and tranquility for at least three nights a week.
• They do not have to tell their husbands where they are going.
• They can go shopping for as long as they want.
• They do not have to have a man around all the time.
• The best part is they would have a husband, plus a partner who is more a lover than a husband coming home three times a week – they have protection as well as family life as well as independence and time alone with their friends.
Disadvantages of being in a religious relationship
1 If the relationship started off with the husband having cheated in the marriage, the woman who comes into that relationship will be hated and will receive little love. The first wife will hate her, and the kids will too.
2 Even though it is wrong, the second wife will get little respect. She will be known as a home wrecker.
3 In a relationship where the first wife cannot conceive and have a child, when the second wife falls pregnant the first wife will be jealous and might even hate the child.
To be sure, polygamy is not for everyone, and for some women it will be a nightmare. If someone had to ask me twenty years ago whether I would become a second wife, I would have laughed and asked, are you kidding? Today I have different feelings about it. As a full-time writer I have little time for going out with friends and do not have much time to entertain, and am by nature a loner. Becoming a second wife for me would be a cinch. I would have all the benefits of being a single woman – and I would have a husband, and perhaps a Mercedes Benz to drive around in.