Worrying about worrying - session 7

By Amy Robertson, 31st Oct 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1qvtyhvr/
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Anxiety

Worrying about worrying session 7 looks at present moment focus more, dedicating worry time each day, problem-solving, challenges and remembering to keep perspective

Worrying about worrying - session 7

Today I had to admit that last week's homework had not gone quite as planned. I had been told to prioritise my worry time - half an hour a day at a specific time. So I chose 9pm. And on days one two, three and four it worked. Amazingly well. I scrawled down my worries and they appreared so fast that my hand could hardly keep up. I looked at the worries - what hasn't happened yet and may not - and the problems - real issues I need to address. I brainstormed potential solutions for the problems and was able to ease the catasrophising.

For example, I had a huge piece of work to complete by Friday. I had worried about it all weekend. So on Monday night I wrote down all my worries about it and also what the work entailed. I then put the tasks in order and prioritised them; thought about where I could get help from my work colleagues and what other resources I needed to make it as good a piece of work as I wanted. OK so I still stressed about it throughout the week but it was more manageable and the best bit was that on Tuesday morning I didn't procrastinate. I actually sat down and got on with my work rather than worrying I couldn't do it so avoiding having to.

Then we got to Friday. I went to the pub and 9pm passed me by. Saturday - a party. And although I remembered at 9pm, I didn't feel comfortable taking myself off for half an hour. Sunday and I had so much to worry about that I didn't want to face it and missed my time again.

So onto this week. First, I am re-framing worry time as 'worry and problem-solving time'. It seems less daunting. I can only problem solve the actual problems, not the worries. But I can think through the worries and their roots in more detail. With problem-solving I need to give myself at least three possible solutions, one being ridiculous. For example, I have no bread for the morning. I can (a) go to a late night shop (b) get up early (c) have something else for breakfast or (d) make bread (make bread is the daft option as I wouldn't have a clue where to start!) So I have a favourite option, but if that doesn't work, I have other options. And the silly one helps keep it all in perspective.

Second, I am addressing some of my key worries through little challenges. Here's an example. I sleep with my phone on in case my sister or boyfriend need to call me - just in case there's an emergency. There never has been and why there should be, goodness knows. Also if there is, both have other people they could call. So I am to turn my phone off tonight when I go to sleep and not tell anyone I am doing so. It goes off and stays off. If I wake up in the night, I am not allowed to switch it on. And then I will get up, have breakfast, and only then switch it on. I am creating time off for myself.

I am also going back over my worry list I created several weeks ago to look at how many of them actually became problems and if so, how many I was unable to deal with. I know immediately that probably only 10% became actual problems and I dealt with them all fine.

Lastly, I need to accept that I will keep worrying and panicking but that's ok. No it doesn't feel great, but its just a part of life. Often there really is nothing I can do about the things I'm worrying about. And that's also why I can't 'problem-solve' my worries because its not worth spending time thinking of lots of different solutions when only 10% become problems.