Are you still stuck in no man's land after a break up? Get back on track with these tips

Authenticme By Authenticme, 5th Oct 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/ri2phxmn/
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Recovery & Coping

Some tips to help you push on through to complete recovery from your break up

You think you want him back - you don't

So, you're trawling the internet, and youtube, looking for break up advice. Will he come back? What does it mean that he sent me a text? How do I cope? Well, the first thing to say is, man have I been there. The second thing to say is, ask yourself why you need to go looking for self help? Why has this person left you with a wound you are trying to heal? Think about it - if they had been loving and caring, you wouldn't be needing to go looking for help online. They would have BEEN that help. Here are some thoughts on overcoming that next painful hurdle on the way to complete recovery.

1) You really DON'T want him back. Think of everything he did to hurt you, whether it be ignoring you, running hot and cold, making snidey comments, making eyes at other women, not asking any questions. Sound familiar? Think about THOSE things

2) Take an inventory of where you are right now. How are you, really and how are you feeling? Alone, dejected, rejected? All the 'ecteds'? The best indicator of a person' future actions is their past behaviour. If you want this person back in your life, you are signing up for more of the SAME!

3) Now be honest, have you even been out into the world again properly? Have you considered other options or have you been lying around pining, or rolling your eyes at every loved up couple that walk past? Unless you've really been trying to meet someone else, how do you know there isn't someone out there that could actually make you HAPPY? - versus miserable.

4) How many tears have you cried over him? Or have you gotten so used to having a tear- streaked face ( in the name of love) to care? If you're with the right person, he should not be causing you ANY upset. Or at least not enough that you cry on a regular basis. That is NOT a happy relationship.

5) If you met him now, knowing all that you know, would you want to be his friend? Exactly.

6) Is he really that great, or even that attractive? Be really honest, and if necessary get an honest objective opinion. I bet he's a 2 or a 3 and you're a 10. I knew it.

7) Have you really gotten back on the horse and got on with your life yet? If not, ask yourself why. If someone's treatment of you has done THAT much damage to render you unfit for purpose, that is NOT the love of your life. Honestly.

8) You need to toughen up. If someone's shown you all their colours, are not making tracks to get you back in their life, and you are still pining for them, pull yourself up by the bootstraps. And call them what they are. A swine, that deserves none of your time, thought or attention

9) In all this pining and aching (and crying) for them, what about your needs? What are your goals, plans and dreams? Aside from wanting to marry someone who will cause you more pain that is? (no judgement, I just know where you're at) Rekindle those things, which are you. You may have been rejected, but you are a person, and equal to the one that rejected you. Equal. As important. Yes REALLY

10) Do you remember what it felt like to be happy? Free? Not worrying all the time? I bet you never or hardly ever felt that way with him now did you? That feeling is within reach, if you only let go. Now, breathe, say out loud 'I don't CARE!!!!!' and go and make yourself some tea. 'Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end'

Tags

Break Up, Healing, Optimism, Recovery, Relationship Advice, Relationship Issues, Relationships

Meet the author

author avatar Authenticme
I'm an actor, musician, teacher and life coach. I will be publishing articles related to those topics, as well as common interest topics

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