Does Your Wife Berate You?

Carol Roach By Carol Roach, 30th May 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/32uz0ylg/
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Mental Health

We we talk about spousal abuse many times the men who have been abused are never talked about. This series will focus on abused men

How many men are abused in a relationship?

How many men are abused in a relationship?

Montreal men are afraid to call the police for fear that they will be laughed at. Therefore, so many cases go unreported. We may not have a clear understanding of just how many men are actually being abused in a domestic situation. However, modern research is suggesting that the division is more like 50/50. Previously it was thought that one third of the men in a marriage or relationship are abused.

On the other hand, according to a study which was mentioned on Canada.com, there is only about a one percent difference between domestic abuse suffered by either gender.

Who is doing the abusing?

Male domestic abuse does not end with wives abusing their husband, or girlfriends abusing their live-in boyfriends, male domestic abuse occurs among homosexual partners as well. Canada.com reports that a survey taken between 1991 and 2004 indicated that domestic abuse was twice as rampant among homosexual couples.

How is a man abused?

How is a man abused?

Physical abuse

Hitting slapping, punching, having things thrown at them

Destroying their property


Smashing their equipment, tearing their clothes, selling or giving away their property without asking, abusing their animals

Emotional abuse

Name calling, swearing, berating, withholding love and nurturance

Brainwashing

Constantly telling the man, "you are no good, you are not good enough, you are a failure, you are a useless excuse of a man, you can't even make a decent salary, you are lazy, you are not good enough for a promotion, you eat like a slob, you dress like a slob, I am ashamed to go out with you in public" and so on.

Years of this type of abuse will make anyone, man or woman, lose their confidence and their self esteem. During brainwashing the person is always isolated, not allowed to associate with the outside world, deprived of friends or anyone else who can help them.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting

Gaslighting happens when the spouse or abusive individual denies your feelings, your ability to think and rationalize, and denies things you know to be true. For example, you had a disagreement and your abuser said "you were stupid", you confront the person and they deny it, stating that if you continue to claim that they said it then you are really stupid, or you are just trying to be confrontational, or want to pick a fight for no reason at all."

The above are ways to defer the reality of the situation and put the blame back on you.

Previous link
Men are Also Victims of Spousal Abuse

All photos taken from the public domain

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Tags

Abuse, Abuse And Violence In The Home, Abuse In The Home, Abused, Abused Men, Domestic Abuse, Gaslighting, Spousal Abuse, Spouse Abuse

Meet the author

author avatar Carol Roach
Retired therapist and author of two books, freelance writer, newsletter editor, and blogger. I write, health, mental health, women's issues, animal , celebrity, history, and SEO articles.

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Comments

author avatar Lady Aiyanna
31st May 2015 (#)

I begged my husband for 4 long years to come back to be with the family until I finally said okay and shouted at the whole family, abused them and walked away with my child.
It worked, I got an apology from them and husband is allowed to see the child but not take him out. I refused to come back and not that there is anyone else, just that I am fed up of the family just going on gnawing my life because I am non-Indian, Christian, named the child out of tradition and walked out to live overseas to still the mother in-law domination.
Now that he has lost his mental balance, not because of me but because of the concubine aka brothers wives, long story short, it was intimate with kids, I left and walked away.
They can do what they want but I decided to go follow my dream and be with the One Above and bring heaven here on Earth for the time I am around and alive.
Had enough with regard to men/women on a relationship front and I now just want to be ME as a mum, daughter and perhaps a wife on paper not spiritually and grow my life, love and family to phenomenal lengths and breadths and attain immortality.

I walked out of my marriage in 2010 because I hit my husband in frustration and gave him a black eye. Not afraid to say it openly and it is documented in the police records too. You can check if you wish, 4th July 2010 was the date, they traced out all his violence, I showed them the violence in videos from his side and proved it to them face to face and they saw it again with another female in Australia and it wasn't me. It was him.

I am happier alone without entanglement and fights. God bless the father of my child, I am happier being a wife from a distance. Its that bitter within me as I saw what love and respect meant to them about me as a wife to him. Its all there in my profile, check it,the press is also aware and on account.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
31st May 2015 (#)

I hit my husband and complained to the cops and showed proof of my injured hard which had burst blood vessels. It was that hard. Date was 25th June 2010 and what he did cost me my employment earning $10k a month.

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author avatar spirited
1st Jun 2015 (#)

criticising someone can also do this, (shatter confidence) about the way they drive the car, hang the washing, cut the grass, wash the car, even of their opinions, and remembrances of happenings.

Sometimes the other person wans to be so right all of the time they abuse the poor other one into submission all of the time too.

I agree with you here Carol, the stats are probably understated.

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author avatar Carol Roach
1st Jun 2015 (#)

yep criticizing is part of the emotional abuse

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