Food Fascists Latest Idiocy: Cheese Is As Addictive As Crack Cocaine

Ian R Thorpe By Ian R Thorpe, 2nd Nov 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Diet & Nutrition

As most people are thoroughly sick of being told that everyday foods are very bad for us, especially when we know these conclusions are based on very dubious statistics, is it time to start challenging 'the science' with common sense points of view?

Cheese - It's Universal And We Love It.

Cheese is consumed all around the world and is one of the oldest creations of human civilisation. Ever since, we must assume, a primitive farmer or herdsman stored some milk in an animal stomach that was not quite fully cured and was rewarded with a tasty surprise, humans have enjoyed cheese and yogurt.

Personally I doubt whether a bunch of 'scientists' (in the field of research grant phishing?) have much chance of scaring people into giving up cheese by saying it is as addictive as crack cocaine, but in the present, politically correct climate, I guess they might get quite a lot of our tax money thrown at them by politicians anxious to avoid offending anybody at all.

So I am starting a campaign in support of cheese. It's healthy, it's nutritious and it is very hard to take it intravenously.

Food Fascists Latest Idiocy: Cheese Is As Addictive As Crack Cocaine

Vegetarians should be on top of the world following publication of a new study which reports (on the basis of extremely dubious evidence) that red meat, sausages, ham and bacon ‘cause cancer’. Many omnivores associate vegetarianism with smug, preach self righteousness, though that tendency and the evangelistic preaching that goes with it really belongs to vegans. If you are looking for sanctimonious condescension from food fascists, it’s the vegans you want. They hate veggies even more than they hate meat eaters, the way gays used to hate down upon bisexuals and both lots despised trannies before they found common cause in the Gay BLT movement.

Sadly though, lacto vegetarians, those who were allowed a spreading of butter on their bread, a nice dollop of Greek yogurt on their morning bowl of muesli or a bit of cheese to tickle their taste buds are even more down in the mouth than ever.

The food fascists, those engaged in the gastronomic jihad, having revived the red meat scare that a comprehensive meta - analysis should have laid to rest last year, along with the notion that saturated fats are a major killer will never rest in their crusade to purify society of the heresies of libertarianism. First, they demonised <a href="">cholesterol</a>, then eggs, red meat, sugar and carbohydrates. And then they turned on healthy eating by inventing a new eating disorder, orthorexia (no, really. I'm not joking), which afflicts people who consciously try to stick to a healthy diet. Now, as the food fascists try to merge their obsession with the 'war on drugs' the latest food that’s ‘bad for you’ is cheese, the staple of every self-respecting lacto - vegetarian’s diet. The report from a new study warns that cheese is ‘as addictive as crack cocaine’.

Perhaps we should blame journalists for picking out the most stupid bits from these studies and sensationalizing them. But a journalist's job is to sell papers and advertising space and to do that the journos have to get eyes on pages. And the authors of the reports, members of science faculties hungry for research grant money and tenured professors who must justify their salaries and research budgets, are happy to provide vaguely worded conclusions that facilitate such distortion, knowing that health scare stories will get them noticed. Nothing grabs the general public’s attention more than the headline, ‘What you eat every day will kill you’ unless it is a sex scandal involving a politician, a pug and a sex act.

Cheese is not as addictive as crack cocaine just as spinach does not give you super human strength. No one is ‘cheese dependent’ in the true sense that addicts are dependent. Chocolate is not a competitor for crystal meth, white sugar will not hook you in the way heroin does. Cheese may release a few opiates in the brain, but no - one has ever had problems withdrawing from Wensleydale, the favourite of Wallace and Grommitt, kicking a Camembert habit or going cold turkey to get off Tiroler Graukäse. Abruptly withdrawing alcohol, heroin or crack from addicts, however, will result in serious adverse reactions, including trembling, hallucinations, fits and in the worst cases sudden death. No body's life has ever been ruined by ‘cheese addiction’.

Blessed Are The Cheesemakers

Another case of spurious scaremongering by the food fascists is the ‘addictive’ sugar fallacy, which has never made people homeless and broke unless they are extremely lacking in self discipline. How much sugar can a person eat? A drop in blood sugar levels might cause a craving for Mars Bars or make people lethargic until they get a fix. But, like cheese, sugar is not clinically addictive, those who eat it to excess make that choice for themselves.

One think I have repeatedly observed as I wander around the web is that those who self identify as 'liberal' or 'progressive' far from being open minded and tolerant of others as those terms imply are always eager to impose their moral choices on society by the creation of laws that govern people's personal morality. Further, their particular mindset can only ever go further in the same direction. I begin to wonder if it is control freakery rather than cheese or self - righteousness rather than sugar that are addictive.

Food fascism and scaremongering by the new puritans are the enemies of common sense and individual liberty. We know too much meat can result in constipation, that's why our Grannies told us to eat up our greens, we know it’s better to cook for ourselves rather than eating pre - prepared and processed meals that are laden with chemical additives . And armed with such knowledge people should be able to make their own lifestyle choices.

People smoke tobacco, yet there can be no mature adult who is not aware that smoking tobacco is not good for us. Similarly rock climbing, surfing giant waves off Portugal, motor bike racing and kite surfing have levels of risk attached. Are we going to allow the abolition of freedom to do all these things. What a horrible world the new puritans would have us live in.

Asking manufacturers to cut salt and sugar levels in prepared foods is as bad as campaigning for a tax on sugar: both remove from individual the right to choose their own way of living, effectively infantilising adults as Nanny State usurps to herself the power to choose, and imposes the will of the establishment just as responsible parents impose restrictions on their children’s diets because children are not responsible enough to make intelligent choices. Allowing the state to assume the role of parent to both adults and children is I feel quite sure, not the way most intelligent people want our societies to go in the developed world.


Addict, Cheese, Diet, Food, Health, Meat

Meet the author

author avatar Ian R Thorpe
Born Manchester UK, 1948. varied early career from clerk via construction site worker and street trader to I T consultant. Performance poet, broadcaster, fiction writer and essayist on many topics.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
3rd Nov 2015 (#)

Interesting post!

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author avatar Ian R Thorpe
3rd Nov 2015 (#)

Perhaps you'd like to recommend a wine Wallace could drink with his Wensleydale.

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