How to deal with resentments

Chris Breva By Chris Breva, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Self Help

This page summarizes how to deal with resentments. It tells how I have dealt with them for years and stay stress free as a result.

How to deal with resentments.

The Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous says succinctly “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is suppose to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.” Alcoholics Anonymous Page 417 I am 51 years of age. During my lifetime I have had more than one chip on my shoulder. It isn’t a pleasant situation to be in. I decided one time that I was going to quit carrying those chips around with me. They weigh entirely too much for my bad back to carry! So I started doing what was suggested in the 12 step programs when I found myself with a resentment. That’s what these chips are: Resentments. I started praying about them. Sometimes I would find myself praying a prayer I didn’t mean but I still pra
yed. I prayed that the person I resented get everything I asked God to give me. Like magic the resentment was gone in no time. Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-44 “You have heard it was said ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” NIV.
Resentments
Resentments will kill us if bottled up inside They eat away like a cancer We must learn to forgive our foes I have learned that prayer is the answer.


I pray for my enemy every night I don’t let the sun go down on my wrath In this way I sleep in peace No nightmares cross my path
In no time my resentment is gone I find it is no more I can move on with my life God has better things in store.
Sometimes however a resentment may be more stubborn. It may require that you use Biblical principles to resolve it. Matthew 18:15 says that it is perfectly legitimate to go to a brother who hurts you and gently confront him about it. The operative word in all of this is love. Jesus did everything with love and restoration as his goal. If you are extremely angry it is best not to confront. However confrontation with the goal of restoring fellowship is okay. If this does not bring you satisfaction take two witnesses and confront again. If this does not produce results then write them off until they repent

Tags

Anger, Anger And Temper, Anger Management, Anger Management Skills, Anger Management Tips, Anger Managment, Anger Mangement, Anger Problems, Resent, Resentful, Resentment

Meet the author

author avatar Chris Breva
I am a poet and editor of Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry Magazine. I have published four books of poetry in my lifetime. I write about a wide variety of topics. I really enjoy poetry.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
6th May 2013 (#)

We all have to find our own ways to get the devil out of our minds. I take a rather simplistic view. I pursue my karma and others theirs. What others do does not reflect on me but we should gently plod them to the right, safer, saner path without offending them. Give others space to live their lives. Thankfully, the majority are sane. Mostly, it boils down to - forgive them for they know not what they do. Thanks Marvin for sharing your thoughts - siva

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author avatar Chris Breva
6th May 2013 (#)

Thank you Siva.

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author avatar rose leisure
11th May 2013 (#)

Chris, I have had a real hard time with those nasty little resentments too. I grew up in an abusive home, ended up in a bad marriage, and just knew there was no one in the world I could trust. I had my select few that I would turn to but those who had done something unacceptable to me better watch out. Then came God to put me in my place. I was notorious for wishing bad things on people who did something against me. God was notorious for letting something happen to me every time I opened my mouth to speak badly against someone too! I learned after a while to keep my mouth shut till I was calm enough to ask God to go deal with that issue, help me with my unforgiveness, and to also help me not go and yank my problems back from Him so that He could deal with them. I spent 6 months in therapy to learn what the term of acceptance meant. This didn't mean what they did was ok, just that it happened and I couldn't change it, nor could I change that person and their behaviors. I still have my moments and I'm far from perfect, but I do have a better time if I can just let it go and let God handle it.

Thank you for sharing!

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author avatar Chris Breva
11th May 2013 (#)

Thank you for sharing as well. God does have a way of putting people in our lives for a reason doesn't He?

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author avatar rose leisure
11th May 2013 (#)

He sure does, and I think most of the time it's to humble me! lol

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author avatar Chris Breva
11th May 2013 (#)

It often seems to be so.

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