Importance of joining support groups.

maree By maree, 1st Dec 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Self Help

Due to unforeseen major surgery last year, I was forced to shut shop after 20 years.
Instead of feeling sorry for my self, I decided to swing the situation around to my benefit.
This is my thoughts of joining a support group for ostomates, and re starting my business through the internett.

Importance of joining support groups.

I went to my first stoma meeting: April the 14th 2010.
It changed my life. The clouds opened and the sun returned. I left full of such excitement, I had the radio up on full blast, and was singing my little heart out. It changed my life. the clouds opened and the sun returned. It was the best and most important decision of my life attending.
I left there deciding to swing my life around. Stop feeling sorry for myself, as I was one of the lucky ones, being on the waiting list for a reversal,
A lot of members didnt have that oppurtunity, there conditions varied, but were ongoing to deal with. Cancer, crohns disease etc, Things I never knew existed, I was like a sponge, wanting to absorb it all.
I just wanted to hug them all, for they were so strong, there strength and determination to carry on with normal lifes, impressed me so much, they all were achieving such amazing results. These strangers without even knowing it, gave me back my hopes and dreams. What an exciting evening.
The ages of people were varied, I talked to a few, which was awesume, as It made my heart lighter, and questions I had were answered, I was able to leave with a better understanding.
Patience was needed I realised with my swollen tummy, all was a normal healing progress, there was no major fears left, that yesterday filled me with dread not understanding, why there was still pain, and that dropping sensation every time I stood, the lady I was sitting beside, when I told her I still wasnt fully recovered, discribed my condition to the tee, blew me away, she even used my term dropping sensation.
Then another I was speaking to, explained most had a gauze put over there bowel when the Drs did there surgery, to hold everything in place, I had to hold back tears, at the joy of finually getting some understanding. He explained because I underwent hartmens procedure and it was an emergency, plus was able to get a reversal they wouldnt of done it, and it would be done then.
I left joining the committee, as I was so impressed I wanted to uterlise the club, set up a support group for the hospital, better understanding and guidence for patients, to let them know, yes it will feel like the end of the world, on waking. But that is only natural.
You will recover and be able to continue with your life, ambitions can still be achieved, You will just need a little time to heal, and rediscover the brillance of life. You can concentrate on yourself for a change, be number one, which normally we let slip by, putting everyone else's needs before our own, which wont do you any harm, just uterlise the time healing to rediscover your beliefs, relax and enjoy the spare time to reflect about your dreams and wants. You will find it will give you inner peace, and strength.
Drs tell you oh youll be back on your feet in six weeks, its seven months and Im still unable to return to the markets, let alone be up on my feet for a whole day. This tore my heart, I had lost what was my life line, sewing and selling, I got so much happiness communicating with my customers, I miss this. Saturdays were always a day I looked forward to, especially when the mind body festival rolled around, It was like a holiday rather than business. When reality hit and I knew I had to cancel my stall, in march, I just drummed into my head, never mind you have six months to get ready for the next one, even tho my heart was heavy. I held on to the future possibilities. It was the first time in seven months, that I saw a rainbow at the end of the tunnel, My life returning full of ambition and hope. This wasnt going to keep me down, instead I had been given back my dreams and ambitions.
The guest speaker Andrew Hall, left me amazed with his challenges and success. Living proof of its mind over matter, he was in a wheel chair, yet had his future all planned and on track, I was transfixed listening, he was leaving his mark on my every turn, each path he goes down, people benefit from. I decided then and there I would lead by his example. He gave me a vision. I decided the past seven months, I had visions and goals, but now I was ready to hit them on the head and get into full swing of achieving them. Getting my business up and rollin, once again, was restored.
Its strange but I dont want to open another shop, life is to precious, I want to do it at my own pace, get back into gardening, visiting, concentrate on good health.
There was so much just waiting for me to achieve, its 4.45 in the morning, hardly slept with so much stuff running through my head, I just had to get up and start tying, its so exciting.
Join your local support group. You will leave feeling 10 feet tall, with ideas and new understanding, its a shame you missed it all.
I refuse to hide in the shadows. I am proud of who I am. Im going to spread the word, make New Zealander's more aware of what we are all about.
Everyone experiences are so different it would be nice for people to be able to read as to how other people conquored there demons. What there hospital stay was like, there thoughts on recovery when they first got a stoma, How long it took, getting back into the work force, a job description of where you are at now. hobbies you achieve, gardening etc, etc, etc.
WHEN I was in hospital I had no knowledge about colostomys, I just woke with my bowel on my stomach, my dr had misdognosed me saying my ill health was due to early menopause. I couldnt hold down food had hot flushes, and pain that ripped through constantly, this went on for a good year, I just thought it was the hand Id been dealt so dealt with it.
So when my bowel finually ruptured I was sent back to bed for two days with a hottie., I just got to hospital in time, the dr watched my stomach swell in front of his eyes, fulling with poison, so hartmens procedure was performed. I woke with a tube down my throat, drainage bags every where, scared as hell, forced to shut my shop after 20 years, I was desperate for imformation, there was no prewarning for me.
My whole world was ripped from under neath me. So I wrote everything down, and now I am in the process of writing a book, Its really scarry reading what I endured, sends goose bumps down my spine, as its full of such raw emotion. I still cry when songs come on the radio, that jogs my memory and reminds me that they were part of my illusion. There words turned into my salvation. Helping me return to sanity, after a full day was lost. My book title Think yourself lucky. I want it to be truthful, and collect a source of imformation, on true life experiences. Im going to leave my footsteps in the sand, bring new awareness about colostomys.
So when the next individual wakes like I did, there will be a resource they can turn to. Full support and understanding, they wont be left in a dark lonely world, instead we will be there giving them a guiding hand and encouraging words.
All new individuals that get colostomys need to know there is no written plan,,that each of us recover in different stages, But we do achieve an end result. It just takes time.

My new saying is. Illness is not a disability. Just a challange.


Challanges, Housebound, Recovery, Stoma Support, Wellbeing Life After Surgery Illness

Meet the author

author avatar maree
Due to major surgery in 2009, I was forced to shut shop after 20 years. Determined not to feel sorry for myself I decided to swing the situation around to my benefit.

Share this page

moderator Mark Gordon Brown moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar Rathnashikamani
13th May 2011 (#)

I admire your confidence and resilience.

True stories are always inspiring.

"Illness is not a disability. Just a challenge." Great message.

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?