My path followed...leads me to writing on wikinut. Part 4

Denise OStarred Page By Denise O, 16th Jul 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Alternative Medicine

As much as the world tries, they just can't keep this woman down.

Slowly things were leaving my life

We were living in a small town in Georgia, USA. We lived in a neighborhood that consisted of 9 homes surrounded by nothing but woods. It was a ideal place to raise kids and I was just loving life. I was still experiencing pain but, I have come to the conclusion that, I would always have pain. It was being managed but, it was getting harder to handle everything I had on my plate. I was a bit overloaded, so I had to make some choices on what to let go.

The first job I let go was being on the recycling board committee. A years work down the drain. The committee carried on, the recycling center has since been built. My one suggestion of having a place to store slightly used furnishings in a building, so people were not having to dig into the trash too be able to find their treasures. Was added to the facility. So I did get one thing accomplished.

These sweet angels

I was talked into being the brownie troop leader 3 years prior. By the third year I was not only the brownie leader but also, the daisy leader, the girl scout leader and the cadet leader. My last year of being a scout leader I had 97 girls. I absolutely loved the work and the kids did wonderful work for their communtiy.

Sadly in the summer of 1999 I had to resign my position, it was just too much for my body to handle, the pain was getting worse. My daily life was getting much harder to handle and It wasn't fair to my family or the kids I babysat.

More sweet angels left behind

In January of 2000, I was just exhausted. I had to stop babysitting. Not that the kids were not in my life, they lived around me and there was always something they needed help with, from Miss Denise. I never denied them. By February of 2000, I noticed the kids that lived around us were always complaining about being sick. I mean kids pass things back and fourth but, it was getting to the point that we just had to take notice.

By March of 2000, The kids were not getting any better. The parents would take the kids to the doctor only to be told that it was a virus and they would get over it with time. Then the parents started to get sick, the parents swore it was something in the water so most of them moved back to the city. We didn't have the money to move at the time, so we stayed, we also didn't seem to be as sick as they were. .

Once those families moved back to the city, It took the healthy adults about a month before they stopped throwing up and having gut wrenching diarrhea but, with the kids, it took more like two months. The virus was antibiotic resistent so, the only thing they were able to do was to let it play out.

Attack of the (Not so) killer virus

By mid April, the virus hit my family and I. We went to the doctor and the test showed nothing. They told us it was a stomach virus and it would go its course so we should be just fine in time. We were given the usual list of things to get for a stomach virus but, it didn't seem to be helping.

A few days later I was laying in the bed and I noticed it was very quiet, I mean eerily quiet. I forced myself to get up and as I was walking around the house, I noticed one thing that stood out. I saw dead flies, all over the house. I thought okay, so we live in the country and we have dead flies but, in my mind, I knew there was more to it then just that. So I continued with my investigation. I walked outside and there were dead flies on my porch. I called Dan at work and told him. He too was shocked, to say the least.

We realized there was something to this, 'It's in the water' thing. Within the next two days, the dogs were even getting sick. Maybe why we didn't get hit hard from the start because unlike the other families, I had a water tank and I had water delivered every month, for us to use as drinking water. The other families were drinking the local water. We decided to move back to the city. Within a month, the rest of my family (including the dogs) were all improving.

I tried to shake it but, I was baking

I was steadily falling down a black hole. My whole body was full of muscle spasms, more so now, then they ever have been. It was getting harder to walk and do my daily work in the home. My husband could no longer stand watching me suffer. So one day Dan picked me up and put me in my wheel chair. Brought me back to the doctors office. The doctor sent me to a specialist. The specialist spent 10 minutes with me, brushed off all the questions Dan was asking. Dan was getting past irritated. The specialist ran more test, then sent me back to my primary doctor and told us that she would give us his results.

Dan and I were waiting in the doctors office when my primary doctor walked in and she said "Well I have looked at your test, so has my colleague and we can not find a thing wrong with you.", she went on to say "I think it's just that you're lazy and a bit depressed", my husband and I were mortified.

For one thing, I have never been a lazy person, just the opposite. I was not depressed, scared maybe but, not depressed. I thought to myself, where the heck did she learn her bed side manner. I could not believe my ears! She actually wrote two prescription for me, one was for zoloft and one for pain (oxycontin), or as she put it, "The pain you think you're experiencing.". I never took either.

It was getting harder for me to speak at this time, my muscles were so taunt in my neck and face, at times the words just would not come out of my mouth. I was not able to walk more than a few steps at time, without help and this doctor told me it was all in my head. Now where did I hear that before? That's it, I heard it for years, before I was diagnosed with Chronic myofascial pain. My husband was so mad! Dan scooped me up off of the table, put me in my chair, gave the Doctor a few choice words and then we left.

A few weeks passed

I was not getting any better so Dan took me back to the doctor. She looked me over again, I could see her disgust even though she did try to act concerned. She scheduled a bunch of tests. I stayed in the hospital for a few days while doing the test. The test came back negative for everything.

I was sent home with a prescription for antibiotics and a prescription for a hospital bed and table. Dan asked them if they could do anymore and the doctor said "This will run its course, your wife's test all come back negative, just make sure she gets plenty of water", Dan just shook his head, picked me up once again and out we went. My hospital bed was delivered. The bed was placed in the livingroom. That would be were I laid for many months to come.

Dan changed jobs in July

That also meant his insurance changed. I had a pre-exisiting condition, so I had to wait 6 months until they would cover me. As the days, weeks and then months went by, my muscles started to draw up even more. I was unable to lay my arms out straight. My muscles in my throat at this point were so taunt, I was unable to speak. The muscles in my back started drawing up. I was not able to close my eyelids. My family would have to put a mask on my eyes so I was able to sleep or so they would at least have some comfort I was getting sleep. I was not!

I was living on what ever my family could liquify. Swallowing was getting harder for me every day that passed. My husband eventually had to put a little in my mouth and with his hand work the liquid down my throat. I was able to get some of it in me but, it was just not enough. I was going downhill, fast!

Not only did Dan have to change my diapers, kept my whole body clean and he had too feed me. Dan would massage my muscles from the time he got home from work, until he would fall asleep at the foot of my bed. Dan was able to dip a cracker in a jar of peanut butter to get some kind of nourishment. Dan had very little time for himself, let along having the time to eat. Dan would grab a jar of peanut butter and eat it with a spoon, while he rubbed me out. Dan ate so much peanut butter, he eventually started to smell like Peanut butter when he would sweat.

November

Come the end of November, inspite of all the work Dan was doing to help me, my body had turned gray. I knew it was bad and the pain was almost unbearable. Another reason why I knew it was bad was, every time my family looked at me, they had tears in their eyes. My daughter was living with her Dad and stepmom. Marcus was spending more time at his grandma's house, up the road. Luckily my brother had his day school to attend. The dogs would lay by my side all day. I was watching everything in my life just go away.

All I could do was lay there and look at the ceiling. At this time I was not able to move any part of my body on my own. Dan tried to get help for me but, he was turned down because, he made too much money to qualify for help and no doctor would see me without insurance.

I never had a bed sore while under Dan's care but, my hair was a tangled mess though. Dan would try and keep it clean and combed out but, it was just too hard to keep up. That was when my hair had to be cut off snd then buzzed. I remember Dan doing this and crying as he did. I wanted to comfort him but, I couldn't speak, so I was not able to tell him it was okay. I wanted to hug him, so too ease his pain but, I was not able to use my arms. All I could do was sit there and watch the man I love suffer.

December

One December morning, Dan was doing his usual massage trying to keep my circulation going. Dan had a local call in program on the TV. We were not really listening to it and then, a woman called in and ask the Doctor what she would recommend for someone with fibromyalgia and the Doctor proceeded to tell her.

Those of us with Chronic myofascial pain have some of the same symptoms of those that have fibromyalgia, plus a bit more.

Dan said "Well hon, I am going to go get these things, it is worth a try.", all I could do was look at him and start to cry. I wanted this to work so much but, I had already started giving up. Dan went to the healthfood store that morning and bought the stuff that was recommended, it cost two hundred dollars.

Just pinch your nose and drink

I was given this gawd awful green drink, that smelled like stinky feet. I can only take a guess but, I think it might have tasted like it also. My family would take my vitamins, crush them into a powder and put them in my apple sauce. Dan had to coax it all that nasty stuff down my throat.

Within 2 weeks of drinking that nasty tasting stuff and taking my vitamins. I started to feel less pain and I could even wiggle my toes. I finally saw some hope, hope that I had been losing for months. I just might beat this mess!

Everyday I could feel a muscle or two loosen up. The biggest step at that time was when the muscles around my lungs released and I was finally able to take in a deep breathe. The first deep breathe I was able to take for at least 5 months.

Krys comes home for Christmas

Dan and Marcus went to pick Krys up at the airport. I heard them drive up, I was so nervous about how she would react. I had not been able to talk to her, as she was living two states away, she only knew what the adults would tell her, as she was still very young. As soon as she walked in, she ran over to me and hugged me. I was able to place one hand on her back. It was the best feeling.

We had no Christmas lights up, no tree but, I was determined to be able to do something for my kids. By Christmas I was able to move my right arm. Dan put some money in two enevelopes and had me practice moving them to one side on my hospital table that was in front of me. Dan had to help me at first but, in a few days, I was doing it on my own. That Christmas morning, I was able to push those cards to my two kids. We all cried.

Over the next few weeks I was able to start moving a bit more. By the second week of January, my 6 months were up and the insurance company had to honor my bills. Dan brought me back to the Doctor. The same one that told me I was just lazy and depressed. Dan told her he wanted nothing more from her other than, for her to sign me up for physical therapy. The doctor didn't say and word and wrote out the referral.

P.T.

It took months before I was able to take a step by myself. My Physical therapist would put a belt around my waist as I walked so he was able to hold me up. We did this 4 times a week for a month. After a month went by and I was getting much stronger, my therapist had a plan. We were doing our usual walking around, belt around my waist, when I saw Dan standing at the doorway.

My Physical therapist told me to walk to Dan. The therapist wanted me to show Dan how much I had accomplished. I started to walk towards Dan when all of a sudden, I felt no pressure around my waist from the belt, I looked down and the belt was gone.

I almost collapsed but, I didn't. I was determined to go forward. I took one step into my husbands arms, before I collapsed, he held me as we both cried like babies.

For me, Christmas comes again

I felt I acheived so much progress with that first step on my own. I was just not going to let it beat me. It was not a easy task by no means but, I have never shyed away from a hard task though. I went to speech therapy and kept up with my physical therapy and in time. I no longer needed the therapists help.

I had to have surgery on my nose, as it had been broken while I was bedridden because, my face muscles that were so taunt dislocated my nose. This put me back for a few but, I recovered from the surgery and I kept on working to improve my situation.

Time went on and I improved a little bit, each day and before I knew it, it was Christmas again...
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Tags

Christmas Story, Chronic Myofascal Pain, Chronic Pain, Family Story, Love Story, Pain Management, Survival, Suvival Story, Virus

Meet the author

author avatar Denise O
I live in Georgia, USA. I am a granny to 3 precious children. I am Mama to Bugg and two human beings. I was once married to a wonderful, Dan.

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Comments

author avatar Alexandra Heep
31st Aug 2010 (#)

I have Fibromyalgia and it is a story as long as this - let's just say I can relate. I have no family and must take care of myself, but this story gives me hope.

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author avatar Denise O
31st Aug 2010 (#)

I can just imagine. I am so sorry hon. I just found out earlier that we have another author that is also having to deal with this mess. Check out this article by James...Fibromyalgia: Insight and Options from Someone Who Lives With It. It is well written.
Remember...You are not alone.

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author avatar Alexandra Heep
31st Aug 2010 (#)

Thank you - I found it, read it, and commented.

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author avatar C. Michael Davis
13th Sep 2010 (#)

It is hard to hold on to our belief that God is in control when we go through a year like this. Or at least we may come through thinking God is mad at us. He is still in control and no He is not mad at us. We do not always understand how the Potter works, but you can bet He is bringing about His workmanship in you. When He is finished He will place you in front of the people He wants to communicate with using exactly who you have become through all that you have been through.

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author avatar Denise O
22nd Sep 2010 (#)

Thank you Mr. Davis for your comment.
That is one thing that having gone through this time in my
life, it brought me closer to God.
it is like I have always said about this time in my life...
I never want to go through it again but, I am glad I did.
God bless.
I have never thought God gave me this, I just knew he would
help me get out of it.

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author avatar mirage
3rd Oct 2010 (#)

I hope you wont feel bad
if i said that it was your
destiny to get CMP
because if not
we the readers
of wikinut would never
ever get a chance to
get to know a marvellous
author like you!!!
Like you said,
it not only could get u
closer to god,
but also to some of
the readers lik me....!!!Looking forward to ur articles..............

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Oct 2010 (#)

Rahmanali, Thank you so much for your kind words.
I do believe it was destiny.
I am not going to lie to you
or any one else and say
I am glad I have pain 24/7
but,
there always is a reason for something and just look
how much more I have gained
that maybe,
I never would have, if I
did not have this ailment.
I try to always think that
the glass is half full.
Thank you again,
Denise

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author avatar Retired
17th Oct 2010 (#)

Thanks for sharing

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author avatar Denise O
17th Oct 2010 (#)

YW Lucia

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author avatar igorgriffiths
23rd Nov 2010 (#)

Thank you for sharing

This has really put my own temporary troubles into perspective.

I am so glad that despite the lack of professionalism of the doctors, you and your husband have managed to rebuild a life where you can both enjoy each other and your family.

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author avatar Denise O
23rd Nov 2010 (#)

Igorgriffiths,
Thank you for your kind
words and for taking the time to read a very long article.
One that one day, I will break up into 3's for poor lalus that has to moderate it.LOL
I have the most understanding husband and thoughtful husband.
He is a gem!
I do have a wonderful family.
I am very blessed.
Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Denise O
23rd Nov 2010 (#)

break it up*

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author avatar passion4life
25th Nov 2010 (#)

Very touching story Denise, thanks for sharing. You have been throughout alot and I'm glad you had the determination and support from your husband to help you over come. I am inspired by reading this.

I was in a car accident about a month ago, and working on recovery, I have been off work every since, and as of right now, they are unsure when I will be able to return. I have alot of injuries and alot of pain, but not as severe as the injuries you suffered. Along with the injuries i have sustained, I have uncontrollable muscles movements that last for hours at a time, making it difficult for me to carry on with my daily activities. I was getting down, because I am used to living a busy active life, and suddenly everything came to a stand still. My friends, and family suggested that I make a list of things I want to do and could do while in recovery. Writing is something that I have always doing, for myself, personal thoughts to paper was always a great relief to me. I found wikinut by searching the internet and decided, it would be something that i would like to do and would help me keep my mind off of things. I have been on here about a week now and have been enjoying it, and it helps keep my mind clear. I love reading the articles of other members and although i'm not that great, I enjoy writing articles as well. So I guess this was just a really long way of saying thank you for sharing your experience, today was one of those days when I was feeling a bit discouraged about my current situation. After reading your article, I realized that things could always be alot worse, and you have to stay positive in any situation, regardless of how you are feeling. I know I am truly blessed, and I shouldn't complain too much, because the emergency crew told me that they have never seen anyone survive an accident such as this.

I believe we are here for a reason, and when we get those second chances we really value life itself.
:)

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
25th Dec 2010 (#)

wow.. you have had such hurdles in your life..
This is the stuff they put in Soaps on TV!
Hats off to Dan too!

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author avatar Jerry Walch
26th Dec 2010 (#)

Mark is right, Denise, you need to write a script for LifeTime TV.

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author avatar Angelique Newman
28th Dec 2010 (#)

I feel so deeply for you and those who suffer with Fibromyalgia. There's so many horrible things out there--so much suffering... You're very strong to share your story ((hugs Denise))

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author avatar Denise O
28th Dec 2010 (#)

Thank you Angelique, those that live with fibro have a lot to contend with, as do folks like me, with Chronic myofascial pain.
I have had 22 years to contend with it all and all in all, I am doing just fine.
I hope in sharing my story, it will help those that maybe at one point or time, has had to contend with something that has happened to me.
I just don't want them to feel alone.
So many people do, that have have lived in a abusive family growing up, a rape, learning how to walk again, talk again.
trying to living with a disease that a lot of people (including the doctors) just do not understand.
I honestly am doing this to help those that feel alone in their struggles.
Hugs back to you my friend.
I live a very blessed life.
Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Humza
29th Dec 2010 (#)

the first thing u need to do after reading my comment is that GIVE A STANDING OVATION and HATS OFF to dan from my side!
Secondly i wud just say that with every line i read I got more and more sure and firm on the idea of entitling u as THE IRON LADY!
densie u worth it!!!

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author avatar Pinkchic18
29th Dec 2010 (#)

Wow. This is such an inspiring story. You and Dan are a great pair, I'm glad he was there to take care of you!

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author avatar Denise O
30th Dec 2010 (#)

I sure will Humza, he is a heck of a man.
Humza, I just don't feel I have done my job here on earth is all.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Thank you for your very generous words.
As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Denise O
30th Dec 2010 (#)

Pinkchic, I was truely blessed the day that man, walked in the bar, was asked by another waitress what he wanted and he pointed at
me and he said "I want her to wait on me.".
It might have upset Lucky but, she got over it and I got my man. Over 2 decades ago.
We have helped each other out through tough times and have rejoiced when we have had so many good moments.
I am a blessed woman.
As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Humza
3rd Jan 2011 (#)

Densie its I who is thankful to u for showing us all the courage and valour with which we all should face our problems

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Jan 2011 (#)

Thank you Humza, you have just made my day, as always.
You have a very blessed, happy and healthy new year my friend.
Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Greenfaol
4th Jan 2011 (#)

You really are an inspiration, Denise. A true Iron Lady. I hope you are happy now and surrounded by loved ones xxx

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author avatar Denise O
4th Jan 2011 (#)

Awww thank you green for your kind words. This was a very eye opening time in my life.
It is one of those things that you never want to go back to but, you're glad you were there.
Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Infonymph
31st Jan 2011 (#)

Wow, Denise. There are a lot of similarities in our stories. I suffered from a serious prolonged illness on top of "social traumas" we'll call them, but having that little ability to function for that long is a horrifying thought. Especially when you had children watching, hoping and suffering with you. You're an amazing person, Denise.

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author avatar Infonymph
31st Jan 2011 (#)

By the way...that sounded more like a poisoning rather than a virus. Why the HE** would they give you antibiotics for a "virus"? All viruses are resistant to antibiotics, because they're not a biotic, a bacteria - which is what they're SUPPOSED to be prescribed for! That's just terrible! I really hate doctors sometimes!

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author avatar Denise O
31st Jan 2011 (#)

Info, who knows but, I promise you, I am more up on any illness that has come across our household than most. I no longer listen to any one to get ALL my facts. This year will mark my 23rd year having CMP and I promise you I can school most doctors on this illness. My husband and I were so shocked by the so called doctors, what was I to do, we rely on doctors to know. I could not talk, we didn't have the internet at our reach and I was not getting any help. They had no clue and they were just throwing everything at me, the fools! None which worked. We know better now. You're darn right, it was some kind of poison. The small town we lived in, started to outsource their trash 2 years before we moved out there. They closed up their old dump. We didn't know this at the time we bought our place. the other families that lived around us, their kids were always sick and the water that ran out of their faucet was yellow. Now, ours was clear but also, I had a water dispenser for us to drink out of at the time, they delievered our water. I did notice the younger kids seemed to be sick more than most, like when my kids were young. My kids were then 12 and 14, when this was starting to happen. They also were not attending the local school. Could be one reason why they did not get as sick as the others. Well, come to find out, we were all sitting on the old city dump. They just covered it with dirt. Sold the land and we all put doublewides on that land, knowing no better. We were the last family to move out and back to the big town. One day I was in the house and every thing just seemed quiet, I mean eerily so. I was already going down hill, not thinking straight, just sick, as if I had the flu that would never, end. Any ways, that one day, it was so quiet, I got myself out of the bed, started to walk around and I noticed a dead fly on my floor, At first I thought no biggie, we live in the country, then the more I searched, the more dead flies were laying around the house and in the yard. I knew something was wrong then. When Dan came home that night from work. I told Dan what I saw, this was when we moved out. Lost everything. We just walked away, well some were able to 'walk' away. Now did I put all of this together then, well no. I have since but, it does us no good now. The guy that sold us our plot, bought it back from us, as he did the others. No one is living out there, now!
I know people will say, we should have took him to court but, I was trying to live and my husband was trying to keep me alive at the time, he also had other responsibilities to tend to. So we have let it go and they can answer their maker when their time is up. So yes, you're spot on, I like the rest were being poisoned. Also, I was the only adult that lived in that area that was basically home all the time, I babysat for their kids while they worked, so I was exposed more than most, other than the young kids that lived around the area. The good thing was, they didn't have a illness already in the works, as I did. Info, I am so
sorry about your prolonged illness, I really am. My heart goes out to any that had these social incidents. Thank you for your kind words hon, your spot on asessment and as always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Infonymph
31st Jan 2011 (#)

I really love your long answers. LOL. The truth is that a lot of people simply can't afford to fight for their rights, as sick as that sounds. Either with time or money. How much is quality of life worth? - Being able to support ourselves and our families NOW...Something is seriously wrong with that. It shouldn't be that way. We should be able to do both. There's supposed to be all this help out there, but where's the access to it??? Anyway, I was suffering from chronic pancreatitis for about 12 years due to a birth defect, but I kept getting the "malingering hypochondriac treatment" and told that I simply had irritable bowel syndrome. When it started, I was 11 and my mother was told that I must be faking it, because, "Kids don't feel pain like adults do." ...while digestive fluid was leaking into the rest of my body and attacking my insides...the pain was abominable. Still. It would've been worse to be in your situation. I would've been out of my mind. Your husband is a saint.

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author avatar Blossom S
28th Feb 2011 (#)

really moved by what you wrote. Best regards.xx

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author avatar Denise O
1st Mar 2011 (#)

info, I am so sorry I missed this post of yours. Bless your heart hon, having to deal with such a ailment at a very young age. it had to be even worse for you as you were a child and we know (unfortunately) most adults don't listen to children. I bet it was downright hard to go through this all, it just breaks my heart. Yes, as you know it is very frustrating to have to deal with folks telling you, you're not sick when you know that you are. I hope and pray all is better now and life has given you very little pain and continues to do so. As always hon, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Denise O
1st Mar 2011 (#)

Thank you Blossom for your kind words and for stopping by.:)

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author avatar c4collins
3rd Mar 2011 (#)

Denise, I thank God for this testimony of yours...if you can get through that, anything is possible!!

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Mar 2011 (#)

C, you are just a ray of sunshine in my life, thank you. I have always relied on God to guide me and that is the source of my power, I give it to God for making me the way I am. Amen.
As always my friend, thank you for your kind words and for stopping by.:)

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author avatar THE BARD
5th Mar 2011 (#)

Denise, I have just read your story, My God what some people have to suffer with in life. You are a fighter against the ill's that have faced you. Good for you. As you are aware, I write to try and add a smile and a cheer to other peoples daily life. Having read your story my ailments are trivial. Boy o Boy am I a lucky Old Boy! Thanks.

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author avatar case1worker
20th May 2011 (#)

Denise, I cannot comprehend how you have coped in your life but am so pleased that you write- with such a wonderful style- of problems that would fell most peple

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