Reasons Women use to Stay in an Abusive Relationship

Carol Roach By Carol Roach, 26th May 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Mental Health

Like our previous series on child abuse, female abuse runs rampant all over the world


Today's topic is about abused women. What can we do about it and most importantly how can we prevent it. The series will end with a case study of a battered Montreal women and the role her friends played in her support.

We will now continue with the reasons battered women have trouble leaving the abusive relationship.

Reason Montreal, Canadian and American women stay in abusive relationships continued

I stay because of the kids

You are not helping the kids by living in a house where they see abuse going on all the time. Both you and your partner are powerful role models for these kids. These children are seeing someone they love being hurt and someone they love doing the hurting. They will may very well learn to hate women and abuse them if they are boys, or be afraid of men or accept abuse if they are girls. For the most part, they will be traumatized in someway.

Yes, you can argue that some children will grow up to be nothing like the abuser, but do you know for a fact your children will be among them? Is it a chance you really want to take?

The bottom line is that you are not doing it for the children, because it is the worst thing you can do for the children. Reevaluate your reasons for wanting to stay in an abusive relationship.

The children need their father

The children need a good loving home and a good father who will show them the right things to do in life, they do not need a father that is abusive to their mother and may even turn his anger towards them.

He loves me

Really? People who really love each other have no need to hurt each other and treat each other as animals.

He can't help himself

Maybe not but he and you can get professional help. Just get out first and then let him get the help.

I am the one at fault. If only I was a different person

Well you are not a different person and that is a fact of life. Regardless of who you are or who he is, an abusive partnership is harmful psychologically and physically. You both need counseling to expel the demons and heal the wounds.

I can help him change

How long have you been living with him? Have you helped him change in any way so far? No, you haven't and you can't. He has to change on his own and he may need professional help to do it.

I don't want him to go to jail

He may or may not go to jail that is a legal decision, but either way why are you so concerned about him when he is not the least bit concerned about you or your welfare?

Abuse statistics

Female domestic abuse can lead to death, get out while you can

"In the USA, "In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. In recent years, an intimate partner killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims."

These statistics were provided by the American Bar Association.

According to the Canadian Women's Foundation,

Each week between one and two women are murdered by a current or former partner in Canada
One half of Canadian women have encountered at least one sexual or physical attack on their person

Rich or poor, poorly educated to highly educated, Montreal woman and women from all over the world are victims of abuse on a daily basis.

To be continued

Previous link

If you are a Battered Woman Know That you Have Options

All photos taken from the public domain

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Battered Women, Battered Women Shelters, Counseling For Battered Women, Domestic Abuse, Early Signs Of Female Abuse, Female Abuse, Female Abuse Stats, Signs Of Abuse, Spousal Abuse, Womens Shelters

Meet the author

author avatar Carol Roach
Retired therapist and author of two books, freelance writer, newsletter editor, and blogger. I write, health, mental health, women's issues, animal , celebrity, history, and SEO articles.

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author avatar spirited
27th May 2015 (#)

great article Carol,

it shows how some women blame themselves, but you give a lot of good reasons here why they shouldn't be doing that.

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author avatar Retired
27th May 2015 (#)

Very true. I think the greatest reason is the kids. Excellent share! I hope that women learn from all these women and get educated and have job and own a home before getting married and have children, so if the man is bad get rid of him without having to end up in a shelter with their kids and abused.

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author avatar Kingwell
27th May 2015 (#)

Great share Carol. I've heard so many women say that they stay for the sake of the kids but that is the wrong thing to do and the kids suffer for it later. Blessings.

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