Scars, There Is Beauty In Them

Lynne By Lynne, 24th Jul 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Mental Health

Looking at scars and see the stories behind them. Discover the beauty contained within.

Beautiful Scars

I was talking to a young woman who wanted counselling for a certain problem. Throughout our conversation, she kept pulling at her long sleeves to cover her arms. I thought at first how impractical her choice of clothing was, since it was hot and the air was humid. The heat was practically stifling. She was perspiring even with the ceiling-fan on full. But I didn’t comment on her clothing; after all, she came for a reason. There was however, a certain point when she was extremely agitated and flailed her arms, and therefor failed to see that her sleeves had slipped down and revealed her arms. So for the first time, I saw the red, painful looking scars adorning both her arms, from wrists and what I could gather was almost to her arm-pits.

I’ve been talking to various peoples with various life-issues to know when to respond appropriately to certain situations. So when I noticed her scars, I schooled my expressions to look calm and unaffected but with just the right amount of interest shown should she wanted to address the matter. She noticed that I noticed the scars, and so she talked about it a little bit –in fact, she practically jumped into the topic once she that I saw them - although she was clearly reluctant. It was obvious that the only reason she talked about her scarred arms was as a pre-emptive strike, in case I was yet another person who would look at them with disgust and refuse to touch her. She said a few self-deprecating lines about them, then pointedly pulled down her sleeves to cover her arms, and ploughed on with her other problems. We did talk again about her scars towards the end (it was a long talk) and I hope she found a modicum of comfort from our talk.

But now, in remembering that young woman makes me think of many people who have scars such as hers, and are ashamed to show them. Perhaps, just a tad, such a feeling is justified, for obvious reasons. Such as the fear that people will withdraw from them in disgusts and dislike, being ignorant of the scars’ origins. Nobody likes to be looked at like they’re lower than the worm and not worth the time and effort to be befriended. So, why not hide what might potentially be the source of rejection and even hatred?

It is not easy to have scars on the body. It is especially not easy to have scars in obvious places on the body, where it is almost impossible to hide them from eyes – prying eyes, judging eyes, uneasy glances, avoiding eyes, staring eyes, curious eyes.

When people think about or look at scars, they usually think of or see an imperfection, an ugliness which mars an otherwise good-looking physic. Without knowing the reason for the scars’ existence, people will usually think firstly of tragic tales or horrible events which would leave such terrible reminders of such appalling experiences. Perhaps so, but those are not the only reasons.

Scars evoke feelings of pity, unease and awkwardness in the viewer, and many pretend to ignore the scars’ existence. They are things of shame and make pariahs out of the people who bear such scars.

But not all scars are admittedly reminders of tragic or horrible events, of human cruelty or hatred. Depending on how the scars are made, such scars can be beautiful. Scars need not make the bearer feel wretched. What story does your scar have? How did it exist? Why is it still there if it is such a shameful burden to carry around?

Anna is a young mother with two little children. She has a long scar on her face, drawn across her left cheek, which at one time she used to hide with her long hair but now wears out in the open. A few years ago, while her husband was away at work and she was home with her youngest child, a relative who lived with her family went literally crazy and ran amok with a cleaver. He ransacked the house in a fit of insanity and threatened everyone within distance with the cleaver. Anna was just picking up her crying child to run out of the house, when she tripped and fell. Her child fell out of her arms, and the crazy man ran towards the toddler with intent to harm him. Anna had just the presence of mind and quick reflex to throw herself down in front of her child, and thus took the hit meant for the little one. The cleaver cut her face deep enough to leave a permanent scar, even many years afterwards. Initially, she worried about what her husband would say when he returns and sees her disfigurement, but the husband and the father of her child had only gratefulness that both his wife and child were alive, and home to welcome him back. Anna’s scars might be ugly to others who do not understand how she got it, but to the ones who matter and knew that she received it protecting her child knew that it is the mark of love and courage, a mother protective of her young. Her scar is beautiful, and in time she hides it no more.

There is also the boy who had complications at birth and has the scar to proof it; a mark on his head which even his hair cannot hide. When at his birth, the mother strained to push him out of her womb and could not, the midwife used a traditional instrument to pull him out and permanently scarred the infant’s head. He lived, because he fought to survive far away from modern facility and advance medical help. When the baby grew into a healthy child regardless, and other children are cruel in their teasing, and even adults are ignorant of his story, his mother looks at her child and sees in him the proof of a miracle and strong survival instinct, s strong spirit inside a tiny body.

There is a story behind every scar. Some tragic, some because of the person’s own careless or foolishness, some because of accidents, some by choice, some on purpose, some unwanted and undeserved, some deserved; and some are because the bearers went through a trial of fire, and came out scorched and burnt, but alive and bearing the marks on their body, all the stronger for it. But they all are proofs that a story lurks just on the surface, and you need to acknowledge the existence of both the scar and its source to find healing. You need not hide them anymore.

Tags

Healing A Broken Heart, Healing Of Mind And Body, Healing Oneself, Healing Scars, Life, Life Changes, Life Changing, Life Experience, Scars, Tragedy, Tragic Events

Meet the author

author avatar Lynne
Aspiring writer. Positive and hopeful attitude. Always willing to make new friends.

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