Seeking for your own self

Future's Seeds By Future's Seeds, 21st Aug 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Self Help

Nowadays many of us, especially teenagers, don't really have a life purpose. When people ask "what do you like most?", many of us cannot think of an answer.

How can we find ourselves a purpose? There are many methods from the internet but none of them works!

What can I do?

I used to know nothing about my wants

If you have read my previous posts, you may already know that I am the type of person that I don’t quite really know what I really want.

When people ask ‘What are you going to do?’ or ‘What is your plan?’, no matter thr discussing subject is career, life or studies, I don’t know how to answer.

Sometimes I thought I love something but I actually not

This situation has been bothering me for years. I am not over exaggerating. In fact, since I was a primary school student, the issue already occcured.

Take studies as an example. When people asked me what is my favorite subject, I can quickly answer ‘Chinese History!’ However, truly deep.inside, I don’t. The reason I thought I like Chinese History, is that I like the teacher. She was my favourite teacher in school studies, because she was very kind, patience, and gentle teacher. Her lesson is fun, and therefore I enjoy the studies. And I thought I love history.

However, years went by, and the teacher of the history lesson was changed to another woman, then all my interests are gone. And then, I discovered that my interest in history is not true, I just love the teacher and want to get her approval.

The seeking process

The problems keep bothering me for years. When I was deciding my major in university, I feel so hard as I didn’t even know what I want to learn more.

But studying is seldom that serious. Even I don’t like any of the available subjects, I can still randomly choose a major, life can still go on. In my case, I have chosen IT technology.

Unfortunately when I joined the working world, the issues immediately brought many chaos. You know, working for a job is always messy. You have to learn new things, adapted to new environment, dealing with bossy bosses, handling people and office politics, etc. Working pressure greatly increased in a short time. And of course I would ask the question ‘ Why I have to do all this?’

I have been seeking for answers for long. At first, I complain the bosses, the people, the work is boring, etc. But then after changing jobs, I found that similar problem exists, which I still don’t like the working environment and things sucks.

I tried to read a lot of self help books. One of them are the famous ‘Conversation with God’. With the law of attraction mentioned in the book, I found that if I keep finding a purpose, which means we think we don’t have a purpose, and there for keep achieving the same problem : I don’t have a desire.

So, I should know seek, but have to declare what my purpose is.

But I didn’t know how to do that!

Until I met someone who keep asking me to tell what I want to do

Until one day, I met a woman, a strong and inspiring woman, convincing and clever. She is my current teacher. She is so bright that I truly and deeply touched me. I wonder why and how can she did so many great teachings and has so much powerful and profound knowledge. She inspired me so deeply that I start feeling it is possible that I become someone, at least a little bit, as good as her.

I told her, I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t think I have any desires. I don’t see the future. Normally, people will just say something like “keep going! you will find something one day!”. But how can I find my purpose ? What can I do for it?

My teacher, didn’t give me answer directly.

Instead, she suggested me not to be urge, and try to think about what do you like most, and what you want yourself to be in every aspect of my life, family, work, relationships, etc. Normally people would just simply leave me alone. But she didn’t. Instead, she kept pushing me to go deeper and deeper to myself.

Of course at first, I couldn’t think of anything good. I tried to list out something, but all wants listed out are materialistic, buying apartment, improving my monthly income… etc. I submitted the list to my teacher anyway, as those are all the things I could think of.

What she responded was, that I have to concentrate more on the will of my soul, instead of my current body level. Because my body level wishes are illusion. Money comes and go, if I focus on money, I can never have control. And what she taught me, which is very profound and I think I will memorize for my whole life, is that “The soul is spark of the light, and it lack nothing”.

So, if I am a soul, instead of a human body writing this article right now, what would I want?
Do I still want a job ?
Do I still want a career?


If I have everything, I don’t want a job!
Instead, I want to do something which can connect with others, learn and gain eye-opening experiences instead of stay at home and watch TV!

I want to stay with the others and build something, or improve something!

I want to contribute, and spread something to the others!

With this thoughts “The soul is spark of the light, and it lack nothing”, I finally start realize what I really want. No matter in Family, Relationships, Career, Friendships, and any other aspects of life, it just work fine.

I would say, previously before all these, my time was being stopped. I didn’t want anything, and therefore did nothing in all those time.

However, after meeting my teacher, I started having hope. I started dreaming and chasing, and I found that my vessel, my will, started to grow. She gave me hope and strength to start my life again. Truly, deep inside my heart, I feel so grateful and really many thanks to my dear teacher. Thank you.

Now, I started being able to list out some desires which I haven’t thought of it before.

And I feel great.

Sometime, you need somebody

What I was trying to say is, that we are all drowning in the ocean. We want to save ourselves, but we can’t do that alone. Instead, we need someone else to help, to throw us a rope, or give us a hand, and drag us up, so that we can see something that we didn’t realize, and jump out from the chaos.

If you are having difficulties and unsolved problems that you cannot solve right now, don’t break your head with a solution. Talk to someone who you are willing to open your heart to. If you feel difficult on sharing your feelings with people around you, contact me if you wish. I am happy to listen and will try my best to offer help!

You don’t need to do all this alone.


Discover, Ego, Kabbalah, Self

Meet the author

author avatar Future's Seeds
When serious things happen, you may not feel right on discussing with people you know.

If this is your case, feel free to contact me! I am strive to make use of my spiritual knowledge to help!

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