Silence is Golden

Soul Purpose By Soul Purpose, 28th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Self Help

How much can we learn by the silence when someone does not talk to us?

Silence is Golden

I had an interesting experience recently with someone that I really wanted to connect and communicate with, and whom I thought had expressed and shared these as common and mutual needs with me.

Imagine my hurt when I found myself not being able to connect to this person via any sort of communication channel? I found it very distressing to try to connect, and not appear to be heard.

The experience raised some interesting questions for me.

How long do I "knock at the communication door - even when nothing appears to be coming back?". How long do I do that, even if it is at a cost to my own self-full-ness and sense of self worth? How can I listen when nothing appears to be said? Is there communication in someone's silence?

As I pondered these questions I observed myself in process with it, and was able to come up with some insight into the lessons being shown to me.

When presented with a wall of silence I felt my frustration and sense that I needed to be seen and heard and that I wanted a response of some sort, even if that was "go away". I felt that my inner child wanted to be heard, and that when I was reacting from there, I was not able to be in my power or responsive to the other person. All this meant for me that in the moments of frustration I was not able to be present to the other person's situation, and empathize with what may be happening there. This was interesting, I was able to watch myself in process, an advantage all in itself.

I was also able to see that even though the other person was choosing to use of strategy of withdrawal and silence, they still had basic human needs that they were trying to meet by doing this. With this thought I was able to reach a degree of compassion for them at I time when I may usually have reacted in anger.

Some of the new Non Violent Communication (NVC) concepts that I have been facing did come into play in this situation. I found it interesting to have more awareness of myself in process, and to be more considerate of my feelings whilst this was happening. It was also fascinating to see that NVC is still happening even when no words appear to be said.

Ultimately I was able to choose how I responded, and I did that from a position of compassion and empathy for myself, and was able to meet my own needs to be seen and heard by listening to my inner child and acting on her behalf from a place of adultness and personal power.

It felt like an enormous lesson. Even though NVC was not actively being used and words were not being spoken, this did not seem to be important.

All images from the Public Domain


Communication, Communication Problems, Communication Skills, Non Violent Communication

Meet the author

author avatar Soul Purpose
I believe in passionate self connection, and the use of meditation and mindfulness to reach a state of stillness. My writing reflects this journey and the interests I have around this.

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
28th Aug 2013 (#)

Yes, if we slow down our thoughts and not get angry and start to think about things differently we can change our reaction to make things more positive.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
28th Aug 2013 (#)


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