Surrender To Addiction

waterhorse By waterhorse, 2nd Nov 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Addiction

The wife of an alcoholic feels her life spinning out of control as her husband drags her into his world of alcohol induced madness.

Kara woke up

She saw the bright green light of the alarm clock. It was. Three o'clock. She heard the front door close downstairs. Her husband, Gregg was home from a night of drinking. She shivered anticipating the madness of a night of drinking.

She heard him talking to himself. He went into the kitchen. She heard his voice as she tried to call his best friend, Howie. "Hello Howie, are you there? This is your pal, Gregg.". His voice slurred the words, he was practically shouting. Alcohol affects your hearing, which is why drunk people talk so loud. Giving up on reaching Howie, Gregg started walking up the stairs.

Kara pretended to be asleep. She didn't want to have to listen to his ranting. â„¢Are you awake, Worthless Woman?! Wake up!" He shook her. She opened her eyes.

"Gregg, don't wake the baby"!

" Where is she? She wants her daddy."

" No Gregg! I finally got her to fall asleep!"

"O.k.". He turned around. "I had an interesting night." He plopped down on the bed. Kara closed the door to the room so the baby wouldn't wake up in the next room. She had no choice but to listen. If not, he would get mad and start yelling. Her job right now was to keep things peaceful. She listened to him rant for hours. She was exhausted. Finally, he fell asleep. He would probably sleep all the next day, hungover.

Who do you tell?

Kara lay awake the rest of the night, shaking. The question is, who do you tell and not be judged? Your friends would never understand. His friends would think you weren't supportive of him. Your parents would think you were a failure. His parents would never believe you.

"I am all alone" thought Kara. "But I have to be strong for the baby." Many times she thought she would go insane. She tried crying, yelling, threatening, reasoning but it was hopeless. One time when she tried to tell him what he did the night before he said "you're just making me feel bad. I feel like I want to drink some more.". He then went to the liquor cabinet and got out the bottle of vodka. She tried saying as sweetly as she could when he went out the door one night, "I don't want you to leave. Please stay home with us.". He said nothing and continued out the door.

The odor of his breath when he was drinking was repulsive. Sometimes when he came home he would be angry and wake her up, yelling. Other times he would be in a good mood and come home singing. He would still wake her up, talking and laughing throughout the night. His words made no sense. She went into the guest room sometimes to get away. He would follow her. It was pointless. There was no getting any sleep.

Someone who understands

One time she mentioned to his friend Howie that be must find it annoying when Gregg calls him in the middle of the night all the time. Howie answered, "Well, it's not so bad. I just hang up the phone on him."
"That's nice", said Kara. "At least you can hang up on him. I can't."

"But,?" said "Howie", "You're his wife!". So in other words, Kara had to deal with it no matter what.

Kara never told anyone about Gregg's drinking. She was too ashamed. Then one day, after her second child was born, she was talking to her friend, Bonny in her friend's backyard. Bonny, after explaining that her husband was in the hospital, finally admitted that her husband had an addiction to alcohol. Kara nodded. "So does Gregg." The two women started sharing their stories. Bonny told Kara about a group called AL anon for families of alcoholics. There were meetings all over the county almost every day of the week. It's anonymous. No one repeats anything said at the meetings. And you are talking to people who understand.

Kara started attending the meetings. It took her a long time before she opened up. When she finally did, she felt much better. The problems at home continued. Gregg still drank as much as ever but Kara learned how to emotionally distance herself from him.

Finally, because of the emotional distancing and the support of the others in the group, she became strong enough to leave Gregg.

After Kara And the children moved out, Gregg decided to go for help. He still drinks but is trying to beat his powerful addiction. Kara and her children had a difficult time making it. on their own but they know they are at a much better place. They are happy.

Kara still attends AL anon meetings.

Tags

Accept Realities, Addiction To Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Alcohol And Marriage, Alcoholic, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Co-Dependent Relationship, Support Group

Meet the author

author avatar waterhorse
I am a middle aged woman recently engaged with a BA in Human Services. My passion is writing. I have a Storytelling Group on Facebook with 48 members. I write about philosophy and psychology mostly.

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd Nov 2013 (#)

I have seen these types of behavior. Alcohol addiction, in fact any addiction, is hell for close family members. Nothing else interests the addicts. Everyone is right to draw a line - siva

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
9th Nov 2013 (#)

My neighbours husband was like this and he finally died one fine day with a drink bottle in hand and in a kneeling position. She had two kids and both now live in Australia.

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