The Monster within

ClaireRose66 By ClaireRose66, 16th Sep 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>Mind & Spirit>Depression

Sometimes it's hard to explain to the people you love the contrast in emotions felt during depression. Nothing about depression makes sense. It becomes hard to distinguish which is the real you, the sad person who holds it all inside until people leave, or the happy person who laughs with the people you love. One moment you can be happy but as soon as they leave, you can sink into a world far from reality. I wrote this when I was going through exactly that.

Monsters and Mirrors

She closes the door,

She closes the door,

Slips off her heals, retires to the bathroom,
There I gaze at her.
I look deep into her eyes.

That smile has deflated,
Cracks a-line where her dimples once shined,
She’s staring back at me.

Tears build behind those deep blue eyes,
Escaping through her eyelashes.
Each one heavier than before,
Trailing a map down her face.

Warm salty droplets,
I catch them with my fingertips.
The stream never ending.

I’m willing her to stop.
Willing her eyes to dry,
She stands now - staring back at me.

These lines of sorrow become more familiar.
Creases etched into her skin
This monster has carved its way deep within.

Like waves crashing into shore,
She can’t see the sand anymore.

She drops to the floor,
Body’s too tired.
She has being here one too many times before.

Wraps her arms ‘round her legs
Feet on the floor
Her fingers intertwined.

The world she knows is in reverse,
No one is there to hold her in the night.

Nobody knows she’s feeling so alone.
Her smiles only seize when she closes the door.

My eyes, the only ones to ever watch her break.
I feel weak inside, these nights watching her ache.
I want to cure her, set her free.

Standing now she wipes her face.
Brush in hand she paints away the lines,
Sorrow not vanished,
Her pain is still there.
She smiles, her demons hidden.

It’s not her who smiles,
It’s me.

The side of her that keep those demons from robbing her of life.

She gives me one last glance.
The light switches off.
Reflections disappear.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
6th Oct 2015 (#)

Tough to endure depression especially when alone - siva

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