The sexual health clinic.........eeeek!

Naomi By Naomi, 22nd Apr 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Health>General Health>Birth Control

A little snippet of my first trip to the sexual health clinic and the awkwardness that followed

Bring on the cringe!

Okay, so the moment I told my mum that I, her nineteen year old daughter, had made that giant leap into womanhood, I didn't believe there could ever be a more awkward time in my life. You all know the leap of which I speak, the one for years playfully(and rather confusingly) described as "the birds and the bees". Well I did believe the awkward silence that lasted for 2minutes and a lifetime, would be forever held in my memory as the most cringe worthy time of my life. But that was of course before I made the visit to. . .The sexual health clinic!!!

Ah, the sexual health clinic, is there a more cringe area in life? Now I have seen a few places in my time but to sit in a waiting room with high class businessmen nervously awaiting those test results (that will reveal whether or not that secret night of hanky panky is going to cost more than the sizzling hotties fee), on one side, and nervous sixteen year olds (who told their parents they were off "shopping with friends") on the other was significantly more awkward than the time I realised that, and had to accept, that my mum has actually had sex (eeek). Don’t get me wrong I’m all for sexual health awareness and knowing what’s going on how to be safe but surely there has to be a way to make the experience more up beat and less intimidating. I mean I sat in this waiting room and suddenly questioned what I should get nervous about. I mean as soon as you step in the place your immediately judged by a huge women with pointing glasses (whose clearly never had a shinggle dinggle in her life), and I'm pretty sure somewhere in her head the song " that all you think about" is playing loud and clear. And all I'm thinking is "I only want to gain a little knowledge, I'm sorry please forgive me". I mean its like being the only fat kid in school when a huge plate of cookies have gone missing, automatically guilty!

Now the waiting room is just the start of it, getting taken into a small room where someone you don’t know offers you every kind of protection from pills to an implant, that I’m sure is just some form of government tracking device feels more like an MI6 induction than anything else. And this strange man continued to ask me every sexual question under the sun, with this glaring disappointed look on his face.

I mean, come on with the ever looming presence of STI’s and all jazz, I do believe it is time we moved over to the ’lets make sexual health fun’ world. What is clear is that we are a generation that is constantly fascinated by anything sexual, I mean can you think of another time when the release of the next Sex and the City movie would have been a family event? so why can’t we kick out the sombreness and make these sexual health clinics groovy, I’m thinking a nineteen eighties, retro vibe, funky music, sexy nurses and hot doctors who sexily direct you to a waiting room, with ‘lets talk about sex’ playing on a vintage radio. But these are just my little thoughts and why not keep them safe in my mind?….or share them with you.


Awkwardness, Humour, Sex

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author avatar Naomi
I've never believed that sticking to any area in particular was right for a writer. Things are always jumping in and out of my head and for that reason I have no choice but to write all

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